Week 4 - All in the Family

The nuclear, or traditional, family is one that consists of a mother, father, and usually some amount of children. The father is the breadwinner of the family, and the mother stays at home to take care of the children and do housework. This type of family adheres to the standard gender roles, strongly placing the man as dominant, since he makes the money, and the woman as subservient, since she is supported by the man. As the modern family has evolved, we have shifted towards an arrangement in which both parents work, in order to make money enough to survive. As a result, the care of a child is almost neglected, and often pushed off onto the school or a daycare system. Regardless, even if both parents are working, the mother is usually expected to take responsibility of household chores like cooking meals and cleaning. This is due to the lingering standard gender roles which categorize women as primary caregivers and men as the workers. In a perfect modern family, the mother and father would be able to work together to take care of the children and do the housework. Men, however, often have trouble accepting responsibility for these tasks, which society often views as “feminine.”

In some cases, the classic roles of the mother and father get completely reversed, and the woman becomes the breadwinner while the father stays at home to take care of the children and do house chores. When placed in this situation, many men find it difficult to accept their new role. Transitioning from a high-paying job to a stay-at-home father can be particularly troubling for men. Even if they are not the primary money-maker, many fathers still feel that it is the woman’s responsibility to take care of the children and perform house chores due to the traditional gender roles ingrained in our minds. Ideally, though, the parents would be able to work through the change together. There are multiple cases in which the man becomes quite satisfied as the stay-at-home father, and can appreciate all the work the mother does on a daily basis. In such situations, sometimes the mother even starts feeling jealous as the children develop a closer attachment to the father. This just goes to show that relinquishing the traditional gender roles is difficult for both parents.

It is also worth noting that, with new laws about homosexual couples, a modern family may consist of two men or two women as the parents. I would guess that such couples are actually very good at maintaining a fair balance between the two parents in terms of house chores and taking care of the children. As these types of parents already defy the traditional gender roles, it is probably easier for them to transition between working and taking care of the house.

I think that the changes we see in the modern family are generally positive. The fact that both parents need to work to support a family is unfortunate, but men’s increased helpfulness at home is definitely a good thing. Stay-at-home fathers break through the traditional gender roles, which helps push society as a whole closer towards gender equality.