Week 12 - Gender Neutral Children

            Both Sasha and Storm were raised, by different families, as gender neutral children. Each of the families refused to reveal their child’s sex, and would not push their child towards either gender. For instance, Sasha’s room was colored yellow to avoid the traditional blue or pink for babies, and was offered toys that are traditionally for girls and ones for boys equally. Sasha is aware that he is a boy, but enjoys dressing up in girls’ clothes at home. On the other hand, Storm does not identify as either gender, sometimes saying “I am a boy” and sometimes saying “I am a girl.” Sasha is an only child while Storm has two older siblings who were not raised in this gender neutral environment. Storm’s parents moved toward this type of parenting after Jazz, the eldest son, seemed to enjoy more “girly” things and eventually requested to go by the female pronouns. Both sets of parents also strive to avoid normal gendered words and pronouns.

            I feel like the steps these parents take represent one extreme, where the opposite extreme would be making all toys, clothes, speech, and actions gendered towards a child’s sex. If we lived in a gender neutral society, then I would happily agree that the gender neutral approach to raising a child would be reasonable and logical. However, in the present day, it seems to me like these parents are working a bit too hard to ensure gender neutrality. For the first few years of an infant’s life, the parents are the main source of ideas about the different genders. An infant does not know anything about genders, since they are a concept constructed by society, so it is up to the parents to enable the child to decide for itself. Once the child has reached an age at which it is evident which the child prefers, the child and parents should probably stick to that gender afterwards. Ideally, the child would be able to continue with the gender neutral mentality, but our current society would probably find this strange. I would like to say that it is alright for any person of any age to do as they please, neglecting and standards we have for the genders. Unfortunately, this still does not seem plausible in our culture though.

            I would say that trying to find a balance between the two extremes would be best for parents today. If a child is physically a boy, then it is alright to start raising him as a boy. However, the child should have some exposure to girls’ toys and activities as well. I’d say the child should be allowed to play with whatever he wants, but, regrettably, should also decide on a specific gender for our society. Perhaps in the future, it won’t be necessary to identify oneself as a particular gender, but it still stands fairly strong today.